31 October 2012
It was a dark and stormy night, and Doctor Eyezous Lovf Poozack was working hard in his secret underground bunker laboratory. He was once a very highly respected scientist who was well-known world-wide, but the critics drive him mad, causing his well-earned reputation to be chipped away by miscreants. Shunned by the evils of the world, he sought to get vengence upon those who done him wrong.
Doctor Poozack succeeded in making a performance-enhancing super-chemical that's powerful enough to create an army of super-soldiers, but then the unthinkable happened. Lightning struck at the worst possible time and struck the chemical, causing it to change to a radioactive gas. Exposed the the radioactive vapors, Doctor Poozack was helpless as his body started to change. His muscles were expanding rapidly, his skin were had scales forming on it, his heart was pulsating with radoactive energy, spiked fins were growing out of his backside, his hands turned into claws, he grew several stories in height, and he now has a tail. He was no longer Doctor Poozack. He was now....
POOZYLLA!
Now as you might imagine, a beast that size must have quite the appetite. Turns out that Poozylla hadn't had breakfast yet. So Poozylla started rampaging towards the International Breakfast Factory. He decimated towns and crushed annoying citizens who dared get in his way. Poozylla had finally reached the International Breakfast Factory. He immediately started gobbling up several tons of bacon, waffles, pancakes, maple syrup, eggs, fried chicken, milk, strawberry jam, hashbrowns, etc. Poozylla, having completely eaten the entire International Breakfast Factory, was satisfied with his meal and started heading towards the ocean.
The world wasn't exactly happy that their primary source of breakfast food is suddenly gone, so they declared war on Poozylla! First they sent a S.W.A.T. team armed with rocket launchers and RPGs (rocket-propelled grenades). Poozylla easily took the attack as if it were nothing. Then they tried using a nuclear bomb on him. Poozylla absorbing the explosion and responded by letting out a huge fart. A thousand trained soldiers fainted from the smell. Worried, the world sent the entire nuclear arsenal after Poozylla. The resulting nuclear blast annihilated everything within a 100-mile radius except Poozylla, who then absorbed the nuclear particles, said "I'm a firin' mah lazah!", and unleashed an highly radioactive blue energy blast from his mouth that devastated a million armed soldiers. The world had no choice but to rely on its last line of defense: a robotic version of Poozylla called Mecha-Mindchamber.
It was a climatic battle of the titans, with the King of the monster on one side and the King of the robots on the other. Both opponents ran towards each other, shouting war cries. Poozylla started the battle with his classic blue energy blast. Mecha-Mindchamber blocked the attack with a giant lightsaber. Mecha-Mindchamber then used the lightsaber on Poozylla. Poozylla blocked the assault with a swish of his mighty tail. Mecha-Mindchamber then used his turbo-missiles on Poozylla. Poozylla was bombarded, but he shrugged off the attack and kept on fighting. Angry, Poozylla tried ramming Mecha-Mindchamber, but Mecha-Mindchamber shielded himself with a force field. But Poozylla would not give up, and he continued to ram the force field until the force field couldn't take it anymore and it broke, harming Mecha-Mindchamber in the process. All seems lost for Mecha-Mindchamber, but he had one last trick up his sleeve. Using his Transformer powers, Mecha-Mindchamber turned into.....Mecha-Cthulhu. Now a lot stronger, Mecha-Cthulhu used his robotic tenticles to ensnare and trap Poozylla. He then used his robo-tenticles to bring Poozylla closer so that Mecha-Cthulhu can eat him.
But just as it looks like that Poozylla is about to die, Poozylla unleashes a blue energy blast down Mecha-Cthulhu's unprotected throat. Unable to take such a blast, Mecha-Cthulhu bursts into a million pieces in a catacylismic explosion. Emerging from the rubble of his enemy, Poozylla was victorious!
Now free to do whatever he wants, Poozylla then continues to smite all those who dare criticize him.
EyeLovePoozy: The Most Terrifying Moderator of All Time!
If you want me to make a satire fanpage of you, all you need to do is ask.