81. If I build a secret room into a house, it will be underground, not behind a secret wall where anyone with a blue print or a decent sense of dimensions and spatial relations can spot it.
82. I will also make sure the plucky comic relief cannot find the secret room by stumbling around and tripping into it.
83. My security cameras will be placed in such a way that the hero cannot be out of sight by standing directly under the camera mounting.
84. Just in case a hero has someone to take the bullet for them, I will always have an extra bullet more than I need to execute heroes. Furthermore, I will capitalize on the time it takes the hero to hear the rescuer's last words to line up my next shot and kill him.
85. Local bands will be screened for magical instruments they just happened to find at a garage sale or the local pawnshop. Any band that has one, I will hire immediately to do my theme music, thus adding the awesome power of rock to my arsenal.
86. If the end of my rule is inevitable, I'll search for a way to fake my death, establish a cult promising my messianic return, and preserve my body until the world is once again ready for me to take over.
87. I will order all copies of the Evil Overlord List, and all subsequent derivatives, to be destroyed with the exception of a master copy which will remain in my safe deposit box for reference.
88. My soldiers will wear devices that will sound an alarm if they are completely motionless or fall flat.
89. If possible and necessary, I will turn myself into a powerful and free-willed undead who can resurrect after being killed again, such as a lich. This way, I'll just keep coming back. Of course, my soul jar will be under heavy guard in a secret room, with doors that only be opened from inside.
90. Should I decide to split my soul, I will NOT keep the parts in unique and glorious items. Instead, I will use grains of sand in the Sahara and the Atlantic Ocean, and a small chunk of ice in the Arctic. And a screw on one of NASA's deep space probes.
91. My soldiers will immediately destroy any towers and church steeples they encounter, as these are great sniper-blinds.
92. I will not torture or kill the hero's friends in front of him. This increases the chance that his hidden powers will activate and kill me. I will take special care not to provoke the hero after I have won the fight.
93. I will have a large group of highly-trained snipers guarding all sides of my fortress from any conceivable angle. One third of them will have laser sights. The rest will have scopes.
94. All powered armor, mecha walkers, and battleships (both of the seafaring and spacegoing variety) will have point-defenses, even if such measures are largely worthless. Better safe than sorry.
95. Rule #4 will not only be my personal guideline, but also an official policy for all soldiers. There will also be a policy to always shoot a body twice.
96. Rather than use an obvious evil fortress, I will base my activities out of a reasonably-sized office suite that hosts a variety of offices for more legitimate businesses. The heroes should be hesitant to attack when there are so many innocent bystanders.
97. I will not employ huge three-headed dogs who can be won over with honey to guard my ultimate weapon. Instead, I will employ small and fluffy squirrels, who just so happen to be vicious carnivores, and will massacre the hero before he realizes his folly.
98. I will never tell any of my henchmen that "I don't pay you to think." Yes, it's true that people who think too much might be a threat to my authority, but if I wanted a mindless robot, I'd make or hire a mindless robot.
99. If I have a genie's lamp, I won't let the hero trick me into becoming an "all-powerful" genie, if it would cost me my freedom.
100. I will fool the heroes by building a false headquarters, misleading them into thinking that this is my personal base of operations. Once they enter expecting a climactic showdown, they will instead be locked inside with explosive booby-traps to level the entire building.
101. Should I ever meet the hero, I will instantly pretend to be my own "good twin", then offer to lead them to my "evil twin's" lair. My soldiers will "kidnap" me when we approach, and thus lead the hero and his party into a trap.
102. I will never try to make any deals with demons. As tempting as it is to have an evil magical being grant my greatest wishes, nothing can be worth the price of my soul or anything just as important.
103. Should I foolishly sign a contract with a demon anyway, I will hire a ruthless lawyer to help me take advantage of any possible loopholes so I wouldn't have to pay my end of the bargain, and ensure that the demon can't try any similar trickery.
104. I will ensure that my henchmen and servants get to throw fun parties when they're off duty. Also, if the hero walks in on a group of people playing charades where someone is impersonating a goose, he will think twice about it being his nemesis's fortress.
105. If a person carrying an oddly-colored sword walks into my kingdom, I will take a vacation elsewhere until that sword is out of my kingdom and not make any friendly or unfriendly overtures to the wielder. If the sword is black, I will move to another dimension and never return.
106. If I'm ever at the mercy of the Hero, I will share any (real or false) stories about my unhappy childhood. If the Hero is empathetic towards apparently sympathetic villains, he would at least spare my life.
107. There will be no architectural elements in my bases that can provide alternate pathways for intruders - no catwalks that go nowhere but provide footholds, no entirely pointless machinery to climb, no convenient handholds that serve no obvious purpose besides being convenient handholds.
108. Even if all my advisers agree that no one could survive that blow I have just dealt to the hero, I will still chop his head off for good measure.
109. If I'm ever seriously injured, I will fake being knocked stupid.
110. All robotic duplicates will be built to look and act like the real thing. Any robot that says something like "Good morning, I am most definitely your sister, and not a clone designed to spy on you" will be sold for scrap.
111. In a sealed and airtight room, I will have all my minions wearing gas masks stand next to bright red barrels labeled "DANGER: EXPLOSIVE!". When damaged, the barrels will release a non-flammable, non-explosive poisonous gas that will kill anyone not wearing gas masks.
112. If I create mutant super soldiers, I will not make the prototype my trusted lieutenant, as prototypes have a tendency to go insane. After field tests prove successful, I will kill the original and clone more stable and advanced versions.
113. Playing ominous music that screams finality, nice as it is, tends to give the heroes the resolve to continue all the way through my citadel and confront me. Instead, when they invade, I will begin playing elevator music, which is much more likely to exhaust and depress the heroes.
114. When hiring new troops, I will tell them that their stealth ops uniform is neon pink. Anyone who tells me how impractical that is will be promoted immediately.
115. I will take a fairly neutral stance on transhumanism. It will not be mandatory, nor will non-modified citizens be discriminated against. It will also not be illegal to undergo cyborgization or bio augmentation.
116. If I foolishly accept the hero's love interests' offer to become my consort, I shall never stop being suspicious of her, no matter how much time passes. Should she ever ask me about my weaknesses, I will lie.
117. If one of my lieutenants turn out to be a traitor, I will kill him, cut off his head, impale his head on a stake, and nail a sign on said stake that reads: "I do not tolerate double-crossing back-stabbers", for such people tend to be more trouble then they're worth.
118. I will never ever try to take over the world by playing a children's card game.
119. All shady biological experiments will be reported as being ethical and voluntary, even if it isn't.
120. I will never write an autobiography based entirely in truth.
121. If my minions find a parasitic creature draining energy from the entire planet, I will not give into my urge to use it to run my superweapon. I will instead try to kill it.
122. I will create a centralized licensing and registration system for all weapon manufacturers. All arms sales will be registered and tracked.
123. I must remember that in the grand scheme, there isn't such a thing as immortality; I can be invincible, ageless, or both, but there will always be a way to shatter the magic and kill me. I will always keep this in mind no matter how assured my victory is.
124. Before pursuing immortality, I will make sure I can turn it off when I've had enough. Ruling my empire for a thousand years would be awesome. Outliving the solar system and being stranded in a universe that will eventually die would decidedly NOT be awesome.
125. If I beat the heroes to any sort of magic artifact that doesn't involve my own plans, I'll destroy the thing on the spot, not throw it into my dungeon in an easily accessed spot, the only exception will be if destroying the artifact will remove my powers.
126. I should note the heroes rarely if ever disrupt my plans as soon as they're getting off the ground. If I delay my plans I can take my sweet time fortifying my fortress, training my legions of evil, and kicking as many puppies as I want.
127. If the power of love is an actual, metaphysical phenomenon in my universe, I will have my minions paired off and sent out as battle couples.
128. The corridor leading to my artifact of doom will be full of highly visible and sweeping laser beams, that will distract intruders from the grid of invisible laser beams; as well as the sound, heat, and motion detectors.
129. I will improve on every other villain's ideas and potential villain's ideas, including but not limited to this list.
130. Should I attain victory, I will remember that it will become boring eventually, and remember to stop myself from creating my own new nemesis just to keep me entertained; sports and video games work just as well to keep me occupied when there's nothing else to conquer.
131. I will not deny or undermine the effectiveness of cake-based cooking songs as a form of torture.
132. If I am competing with many other villains over the fate of the world, I will remember to paint myself as the least of all the evils, as this is great for propaganda, along with making temporary alliances with heroes if that should ever become necessary.
133. If I rise to power by replacing my boss, I will not lash out if my former leader returns, odds are whatever helped him cheat death could turn me into a puddle of molten flesh in an instant. Instead, I'll return to serving him until I find what his weakness is, and then direct the heroes to it so I can take him out when I get the chance.
134. I will not use a horde of tiny killing machines to pacify a planet. Especially if the item that makes them ignore my troops has to be calibrated every so often.
135. If I use any sort of long and complex deathtrap, I'll make sure that in case of escape, I will personally implement it. That way, when the hero thinks he's been smart and escaped through the absurdly spacious sewer, or wherever it may lead, I will be waiting. With a gun.
136. If I absolutely must have brainwashed henchmen, I will not give them the keys to my inner chambers.
137. Before I send my assassins to kill someone, I will give them bags full of hair trimmings collected from the local barber shop, or other random genetic material, to contaminate the crime scene with.
138. I will prevent the creation of potential heroes by appointing their families to important positions in my government, and molding any would-be heroes into my right-hand men.
139. I will remember that the power of hope is not the exclusive virtue of the good guys.
140. Self-preservation will always come before the plan, if I fail and everything starts to come down around me, I will not let pride get the better of me and go down with the ship or commit suicide, I'll drop what I'm doing and escape immediately.
141. I will never underestimate the advantages of good intel and high power sniper rifles. It may not be chivalrous or fair to shoot the hero in the back from miles away but I am more likely to succeed this way. If it does not work I will carry on trying at random intervals.
142. I will never, ever create technology that can bypass all security and lay bare the secrets of everyone, and drive the users insane so they can be controlled more easily. That shit not only gets you nowhere, it usually ends with rebellions and your creations being used against you.
143. I will endeavor to use reason to combat enemy tactics. For example, if a book must be banned because it is enemy propaganda, I will explain why to the public and point out passages that directly oppose the empire's values, or explain the possible consequences of people reading the novel.
144. I will give all possible military aid to allied nations, so that the hero will have trouble finding allies there who oppose me.
145. If I must kill someone and I know that the public will inevitably hear about it, I will explain why I did it and why it was unavoidable, placing emphasis on any treason, rebellion, or other detrimental aspects of the victim's life.
146. I will not live in my fortress, instead, I will hide in my grandmother's basement and have my fortress presided over by a robotic replica of someone I hate. This robot will do all the dirty work and, with luck, get killed by the heroes while I am safe to watch them hack it up.
147. I'll watch out for any fake heroes, if someone threatening my regime dies quickly enough that I say "That was too easy", I'm probably right. I'll investigate the family ties related to the person I just killed, and deduce which one will most likely grow up to be the revenge-seeking hero.
148. I'll also watch out for any sidekicks, if my spies reveal the leader of the band of heroes coming for me doesn't have a reason for wanting my death besides my generic villainy, I'll direct my resources away from him to the others and try to find out who the real hero or chosen oneamong them is.
149. I will always assume that my evil plans can fail at any given point, whether it be anywhere from before it begins to moments before its completion, and plan accordingly. Also, I will keep Murphy's law in mind.
150. I will do my research and ensure that my opponent does not believe in an entity that grants him multiple lives. If so, I will find a way to get rid of his additional lives before facing him. After all, finding out only during a battle usually leads to unpleasant surprises and death.
151. If I steal something of value from the hero, I won't upgrade it for my own personal use, eventually the hero will wind up taking it back, and he will have an upgraded item made with my resources.
152. If the entire party of heroes has been captured and imprisoned, they will be locked up separately, their pet who could help them escape will be isolated, and the smartest guards (or at least ones with some common sense) will be assigned to watch them.
153. I won't try to kill infants, especially that one prophesied to defeat me. I won't fall into the trap of trying to kill a kid who otherwise wouldn't be a threat until I make him one. Instead I will raise the child as my heir, and I'll fulfill the letter of the prophesy by having him beat me at a kid's game or sport.
154. In the event that the hero enters my lair, I will disguise myself as a butler, have my butler disguised as me, and once he kills the butler, and has his moment of triumph, I will kill him with a simple shot to the back of the head.
155. I will remember that my special forces who have never lost a battle, can still be defeated. Too many Evil Overlords have relied too heavily on them and are soon left with no elite warriors after the Hero eventually kills them.
156. I will not underestimate an enemy army just because we have outnumbered them. They may still have a chance of prevailing.
157. If I'm draining life energy from people, harvesting organs, or extracting bodily fluids from corpses, then I will make sure to do the grisly work in a clean environment out of sight. While it may be useful to have corpses laying around to instill an air of fear... I should at least be able to keep things neat and tidy when necessary.
158. Guards will always carry a list with names and descriptions of people who are allowed entrance. Allowing in anyone who's not on the list will result in execution. Anyone who refuses to believe their names aren't on the list, and insists "there must be some kind of mistake", will be interrogated outside the premises.
159. If I ever find myself in a situation where me and my enemy are standing at opposite ends of a room with guns aimed at each other, I will skip over the dialogue and just shoot him in the head before he causes any more trouble.
160. If my demise is inevitable, and there's nothing I can do to save myself, I'll attempt to face death with dignity (or at least hide the shame). Nothing's more humiliating than revealing oneself to be a pathetic coward or a sore loser in their final moments.