1. Although I will make backup plans for my possible death, I will not design this part of the plan to be a core element.
2. My retirement plan will have enough challenges to keep me occupied. Too many accomplished villains grow bored with victory, and go back to fighting battles they've already won out of nostalgia.
3. I will make sure that I have one person in my evil council whose job it is to argue against anything suggested. He will not be punished for disagreeing with me, so as long as he has reasonable arguments.
4. Before I curse anyone, I'll make sure it isn't broken by true love's kiss or something easy like that. I'll either use one that can't be broken or, better yet, one that can only be broken by having me willingly kiss them.
5. If I must use mind control, I'll ensure only I can remove it of my own free will, and that killing me will cause all the affected to die horribly.
6. If I brainwash someone into becoming my sleeper agent who forwards my evil plans without their knowledge, I will not have the brainwashing wear off when my sleeper agent finishes the last task I gave them. They'll simply return to an initial state where more instructions can be provided.
7. If I capture and brainwash one of the heroes, I will not send them back to their companions with instructions to lead them into a trap, or backstab them. Instead, I will seize the opportunity to order my new slave to turn around, then execute them.
8. I'll never outlaw smiling, hugs, flowers, or "being nice". I might not like any of that stuff, but ruling a whole country of assholes and people forced to be assholes will just make everyone annoyed and miserable, cause rampant crime and vandalism, and lower property values.
9. Professional butt kissers will not be promoted, as they only give animosity to other henchmen. Butt kissing will only be used as a tie breaker if the butt kisser is as loyal, intelligent, and effective a leader as the other candidate.
10. If I have a monstrous form, I'll ensure the transformation lasts a fraction of a second so I won't be attacked while doing so. If I have more than one, I'll use the most powerful form and kill everyone before something bad happens.
11. After destroying the home planet of the only race that can possibly challenge me, I will order the entire star system scanned for escape pods before doing anything else. I will also kill the only survivors instead of letting them work for me.
12. I will never casually assume the heroes won't employ some of their more morally questionable options because they're too good for it. If all goes according to plan, there's a good chance they'll treat my decisive victory as the final straw.
13. My Legions of Evil will not conceal their faces, and they will all wear helpful "Hello, my name is..." nametags so I know who to punish if they step out of line.
14. If I decide to destroy a town, I will make sure that I've burned it completely, so that no one survives. I'm a villain, after all... I'm not supposed to be nice.
15. If I see an escape pod leaving a vessel I have just commandeered, I will destroy the escape pod, even if there doesn't appear to be anyone on board.
16. If I'm about to lose a civil war, I may negotiate with the rebels, allowing them to take over in exchange for granting me immunity to prosecution, and living in a luxurious exile for the rest of my life. Hopefully there's always the chance that the rebels will run things so badly that loyalists will beg for my return.
17. I will read up on other useful guides, and use their tactics when a situation occurs which makes the tactics contained in this list ineffective or counterproductive.
18. I will not be focused on avenging petty injustices in my childhood, as this will make me appear to be rather pathetic instead of respectable.
19. I won't invite private citizens into my fortress while executing the final stages of my plan.
20. If a new employee, passing traveler, or guest I've invited bests me at a simple game I would normally win, I will interrogate and kill them immediately. That man (or woman, or teenager) is an enemy spy.
21. All rooms in a base, including bathrooms and even my own personal bedroom, will be bugged with a vast surveillance network of hidden cameras and microphones.
22. I will jam all wireless communications and radio frequencies in and around my fortress. Any outward communications will be done via direct, wired communications through monitored channels.
23. If I intend for my nemesis to unwittingly activate my superweapon during a PR stunt, I will secretly be carrying a second remote trigger for the superweapon. If the crowd starts to panic over an exciting entrance by the hero, I will activate the weapon and hightail it out of there.
24. Despite how impressive it may be, I won't keep my shark in a giant glass tank, particularly when I try to drop henchmen who failed me or visiting heroes in there. Six-inch-thick portholes can be just as dramatic.
25. If my plan involves replacing powerful leaders with clones, I won't waste time by waiting for all my targets to be replaced before disposing all the originals at once. Instead, I will kill each one as he/she is being replaced.
26. If my plan relies on the assistance of the gambling addict, I will kill him when he's no longer useful. They are easy to control, but can become greedy quickly. And they tend to gamble with everything, especially with Evil Overlords and Death.
27. I won't ever reveal my plans to the hero, especially when he plays a crucial role in it. If he asks me, I will lie all about it; or should I tell the truth, he will be killed immediately.
28. If my men find an otherwise innocuous item that contains an advanced system or mechanism in a guest's or employee's room, I will confiscate ALL items from the room, regardless of how innocent they seem.
29. I will resist any urge to taunt my enemy during my escape. For instance, if flying away via helicopter, I will not stop to wave goodbye at them.
30. Despite any similarities they have, I will not keep an enemy alive because they resemble a lost family member or friend. As much as it would break my heart, it would be far better to just kill them immediately.
31. If my plan involves derailing a high political figure, I will kill him once I am finished with him, not keep him drunken and embarrassed in the dilapidated building right next to my fortress.
32. The keycard I use to activate my superweapon will be the swipe-and-withdraw kind, not the kind that has to be kept in the machine to keep it activated. I will take the keycard with me so nobody else can deactivate it.
33. I will make it clear to my security precisely who I've invited to PR events. As such, if nobody I've invited is under the age of twenty, all teenagers and children are to be turned away at once regardless of whether or not they have a ticket.
34. All trucks entering and leaving any of my secure installations will be searched top to bottom, on the inside AND on the outside.
35. All sentries guarding my deathtrap obstacle course will check that all dead bodies really are dead. Preferably by stabbing the body in the back.
36. If the hero escapes from me, I will order a full investigation on him. As a part of that, I will interview everyone in my organization to see if they know him; this includes the trained assassin I've hired.
37. If the trained assassin I've hired refuses to kill the hero, I will interrogate them. If the assassin fails to give a good excuse, they will be executed immediately.
38. I will always try to aim for the head with every shot. If this is not possible, I will gun down the enemy first, and follow up every downed enemy with a head shot.
39. I will not fund any lengthy, high-budget, venture capitalist project, such as a hotel in space. Despite the boost in PR that I desperately need, it may well come back to bite me if it starts running over budget and starts to eat away at my vast funds.
40. When I calibrate the controls for the superweapon to my handprint, I will immediately lock down the controls to ensure that nobody else can access the controls and disarm it or – even worse – detonate it where it will have no effect.
41. I will always consider the best assassination techniques for every situation. For example, if I want to eliminate a vehicle near one of my installations while holding a New Year's Day PR event, the fireworks can easily disguise the flash and sound of a rocket launcher.
42. I will not have the hero unwittingly set the final phase of my plan in motion if the only reason for doing so is my own personal amusement.
43. I will remember who has the bargaining power at all times. Even if the hero has the object I need to launch my evil plan and is threatening to destroy it, it won't matter as long as I have his girlfriend.
44. I will run an evil clandestine organization, and my identity will remain hidden. The hero can't stop who he doesn't know, and it's far more intimidating for the masses for the identity of the evil one terrorizing them to be a mystery.
45. When me and the hero are fighting over a powerful object, if for some reason, even though I've apparently beaten them, they stand up, with a badass look in their eye, and say something like "you want the MacGuffin, TAKE THE MACGUFFIN!!!", I will immediately jump into my escape pod, flee, and blow up the base post haste: I clearly don't understand the power I was dealing with, and me taking the hero up on their offer would have resulted in my death.
46. Codewords - if my officers are captured, they will be instructed to say something like "everything is A-OK" or something similar, that sounds reasonable and normal. This will be the cue to send in the elite shock troops, shoot on sight, and flood the corridors with knockout gas, as said codewords will only be said in times of durress, and the actual "everything is ok" signal will be something like "Situation Normal, reporting back in 5".
47. If, for any reason, I decide to employ ninjas, I will make sure that they, contrary to my normal Legions of Terror fight the Hero one on one. And by 'fight,' I mean use every dirty trick in the book and anything they can think up to kill the Hero before he even knows they are there and only fight as a last resort.
47A. I shall also only hire one of them at a time, all from the same clan, and maintain a professional relationship and respect for the traditions of said clan, even if their beliefs clash with your own. (As a side note, should relations with said clan sour, the clan's lair shall be firebombed and any survivors hunted down and executed.)
47B. Related to the firebombing issue, I will never ever EVER deliberately attack a ninja clan because I think they might be working with the hero. I will instead do everything possible and within reason to recruit them to my side instead. (Alternatively, I will frame the Hero for the firebombing.)
In addition, I will make sure that any ninjas I employ are not possessed by any Eldritch Abomination that they might lose control of in a tense situation.
48. I will not be a sociopath or a social isolate. Being able to model my enemies' thoughts and feelings in my own mind is useful. Thus, in my evenings, weekends and holidays I will maintain a healthy, reasonable social life with several friends and hobbies. Besides, it's always important to leave a good impression in the community.
48A. If the President of the United States can do it, so can I!
49. I will never deploy an infantry invasion against an enemy replete with wizards, witches, arch-mages, mahou shoujo, or any other form of magic-users. While in tech-heavy universes, specifically ethnocidal viruses are difficult to create, the equivalent magical effect is dirt easy. More than one aspiring Overlord has found his/her-self magically thrown continents away from their target, their armies battered and maimed, due solely to the magical equivalent of a semi-permeable cell membrane.
49A. From someone who tried that: and if it conveniently turns out that only one person is the specific key to the area-effect weaponry or defenses, I will not drug, disable, or mind-control him in a complicated infiltration plot. I'll just kill him as soon as I get close.
50. Rather than using my vast propaganda machines to teach the population at large, and thus my prospective enemies, to fear and loathe me, I will use it to teach them the values of pacifism and nonviolence. Idealistic nonviolent activists are far easier to kill than real heroes.
51. If I have a four-part plan,I will make sure to have a fifth part.
52. My bases will have extremely strict safety requirements and I will have regular tests of failsafes. Keeping my mooks safe improves moral, makes sure I don't lose them needlessly, the Hero will not be able to push them off ledges, easily tamper with my machinery, and the destruction of my base would be more likely to leave more of my troops alive to fight another day.
53. While factories spewing pollution add a wonderfully villainous ambiance, I will bear the cost of mitigating and preventing the environmental damage if there are any local nature spirits or guardians that can be persuaded by heroes to attack me. A few acres of land and unsustainably harvested timber are not worth an invasion by Ents.
54. If I ever try to convince the hero to join me, I will have polished my debate skills enough to win the argument and leave the hero in doubt, even if I cannot turn him yet. I will ensure the hero is unable to return to his friends for moral support and strengthen his resolve. Once the Hero has come over to my side, I will make it my first priority to kill him/her anyway possible. Whether his defection is genuine or not, this is an ultimately better result than my situation before, or than it might become if the hero betrays me.
54A. Also, I will keep a tight lid on who knows the hero is dead. My trusted allies might be allowed to know, but if any of them seem shocked or dismayed, then I will execute them in secret. As for the hero's friends, I will only tell one of them at a time when we are alone. My goal will be to inspire raw feelings of vengeance, that will be their downfall, rather than resolve, which would be mine.
55. I will not, repeat, will not install a MuffinButton on any of my ships.
56. I will never answer my own doorbell, I remember how that worked out for Gerald Bull. That's why I have minions.
57. If I can revive fallen elites in my army, I will remember not to send them against the hero for revenge; instead they will resume their original mission while the hero is miles and miles away.
57A. Alternately, I will teach them to cover their weaknesses...as giving them new powers may provide an opportunity to be defeated again.
58. If I am successful and get the chance to make a wish that can come true, I WILL be as specific as possible when doing so... Eldritch Abominations or Artifacts of Doom I could use for this purpose could try to play the game of Hijacked by Ganon or Jackass Genie.
58A. Addenum, I will ensure that if at any time I can have a wish granted by such a being, I will have the wish in writing from my team of lawyers. Their job is to screw others over, and prevent me from being screwed, after all.
59. If I ever obtain powers over time, I will go to the past and either A.) Kill the hero as a baby, or B.) Go back to the time after the Dinosaurs went extinct, less chance of opposition (aside from Native Mammals), and therefore easier to take over.
60. If I should end up holding the hero in my tech-based telekinesis, I will not just casually toss him in to a wall and leave with out bothering to check if he survives. I will instead crush him with the aforementioned telekinesis until he resembles a smooth jelly.